Thursday, October 29, 2009

Homeless Anxiety

Today we cleared the housing office on base and now we are officially homeless and are currently staying in the TLF (Temporary Lodging Facility) on base.  Our dogs are living at the kennel this week and our cats are going to be staying with my parents until they come to visit us in a few months. We are a family separated and divided up temporarily.  During all this planning, packing, donating, and being prepared to move I was diligent in my efforts to not face the reality of being homeless, separated from my furry children, taking my older daughter from her friends, and moving from all our family. While I knew that all those things would happen I had plenty to do to keep me busy and not thinking about it in terms of reality.

My husband has been nice enough to point out to us lately, this is the last time we'll (fill in the blank) every time we do something for the last time. This morning I was nice enough to point out to him that while it doesn't really matter to him if we leave Tucson and this base because he is not from here it is very hard for those of us in this family that have lived here most or all our lives. He was then nice enough to remind me when we left our home for the last time, that it was indeed the last time we would be there. I guess my comments to him didn't make the impact that I had hoped it would. Perhaps some of that has to do with the fact that I myself was avoiding the reality on an emotional level. Either way I am now faced with it head on and I want to embrace the move but the next 4 days that I have left in my "hometown" are going to be full of lasts and that is going to be the hardest part.

While I am confident that Germany will be full of very nice people and that we will make new friends, none of those people will be able to replace the ones we are being separated from. The people we know the best and love the most. The places that we love to go, restaurants that we love to eat at and the comfort of familiarity in your surroundings. I know that we are very luck in this age of technology that I will be able to keep in touch with the people we care about the most with the internet, webcams, instant messaging, cell phones, and email. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on this move and I was REALLY excited to find a Subway restaurant on Google Earth the other day. Now if they just had a Starbucks this move would be so much easier.  

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